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Depression Tried To Take Over My Life

Read Lamentations 3

Depression is a crippling disease that allows us to disassociate from the people around us.We live in a world where it is easy to be in our own space, and easy to be disconnected from one another. With technology, we maintain relationships with people we don't even know more than connect with the people beside us.We use this word, Depression, as a way to show that we are upset, sad, disappointed, and every other word other than its true meaning. Considering how the stigma that is placed on mental health is a negative one, we make depression look like a common cold, and not as dangerous as it truly is.

I Grew up with a loving mother who gave me the best memories of my life.

If you're like me, being diagnosed with depression can make it harder to develop and maintain relationships with people. It seems so much easier to isolate myself, even though I thrive off of social contact. It takes away my drive for reaching out to people, and it effects my self esteem.

I Grew up with a loving mother who gave me the best memories of my life.

​We didn’t have a lot but we were blessed, and God gave me many opportunities to learn a lot about people and the world around me. For as long as I can remember, I have had an interest in learning about people and their behaviors (hence my psychology major). I knew that not everyone around me had chances to see the world in a way that I could. I knew that everyone had different lifestyles based off of their circumstances. So I allowed myself to be vulnerable, and cater to everyone around me. I had to become sociable, and have an empathetic heart towards others. I wanted to seek people out to help them reach their goals. I wanted them to know that they were important and that God created them for a reason.

Even though I loved helping people, I wished someone would tell me that loving them would come with some disadvantages

I grew up always looking out for others, and not looking out for myself. I gave my heart to so many people who didn't have my best interest at heart. So, I started to question myself. I thought that being a loving, pretty girl would get people to like me. I thought having everyone's back would make people trust me. It took years for me to get to the point where loving myself was the only option in order for me to survive in this world.

I developed my disease at a young age, but I remember when it started to take a serious hold on me. I was diagnosed with Seasonal Depression my sophomore year of high school, but it wasn't until this year where I decided to overcome it. I let my disease take over my life, and tell me how to live every day, and because of this I almost failed high school, college. I almost lost friends, and even my life.

You see, depression isn't something that you can just wish away. It takes over your thoughts. It's a demon that whispers in your ear telling you lies and deceit. It enables the people who treat you badly, and tells you that you deserve it. It tells you that you aren't worth love from others. It tells you that you aren't important.

However, The bible says that "The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. [God's] purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life" John 10:10

​So I decided that enough was enough.

I want to give you some of my tools on how I decided to overcome depression and confront my situations

1: Admit That You Need Help

The first step to healing is admitting you need help. Counseling, therapy, support groups, they are all here to make you be the best you that you can be. As a psych major, I think getting the help you need can take you from a position of distress, to a position of coping and even surviving. As a person who suffers with mental illness, I never felt comfortable talking with others about how I felt.

Mostly because I thought I was being too whiny, and nobody wanted to hear my problems. Until I decided to give it a chance, and let it out. Even one session with a counselor gave me a chance to express my thoughts and not keep them bottled up. It gave me a chance to speak out and put my foot out to take the leap into my survival.

Counselors give you the opportunity to see where your problems came from, and how to move past them and get you to where you used to be. This process is definitely a long one, but one of the most rewarding.

2: Write Down Your Goals

I don't mean life goals. This time I mean, write down what you need to do to change, to heal, confront your battles, and let go of the past.

One of the major things I felt I needed to do for my comfort, was to confront certain people who helped progress my struggle and lower my self esteem. (Only certain people because not everyone needs to be confronted. Sometimes you have to let people go and just forgive them.) I'm uncomfortable with confrontation. So I had to write down who I needed to talk to, pray over the list (to determine if God really wanted me to speak with them), then write down key points on what I needed to say (to keep the conversation direct and without emotional chaos).

Another thing I did was write down how I felt about myself. All of the things I loved and disliked about me. I turned those dislikes into improvements. I asked myself: what can I do to change my behavior to eliminate these dislikes? ​

If you need advice of how to journal for the first time let me know in my comment section for this blog.

3: Declare your freedom

Depression is a Mental disorder. Everything you do, say, and think is based off of your mood, how you think of yourself, and others.

When you have depression, everything is altered. Some of you reading this may already have those feelings. One day you're normal and it seems like everything is going to be okay. Then the next day, you feel dejected, and ready to give up. When you declare freedom, the strength to move forward, and the peace and happiness you've always wanted comes right at your feet. ​​

God does not want you to suffer. He wants you to trust in Him in all things, and let Him guide your life. Putting freedom in your mind contradicts what the enemy is trying to place over your life. Satan will try to win this battle of Spiritual Warfare, but God already has the victory. So declare victory over your life. Let God take over your sadness, your hurt, your pain, your fears and doubt. Let God take over your depression. ​ When I turned it over to Him I saw who I was through God's eyes. I stopped looking at what others thought of me and made my way to the place where God wanted me to be. I let go of the past, forgave the people who hurt me, and declared my freedom through Christ. Every day is a battle for me to fight because my depression has not ended yet. However, each day is easier when I put all of my trust in God and let Him fight for me.

"For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory." Deuteronomy 20:4

If you or someone you know is struggling with Depression and have suicidal thoughts, please contact this number and go to this website to get help. You're worth it.

You Matter

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-8255

Stay Blessed be blessed